Twenty years ago, turning 40 felt like something still far into the future. I believed I had a lot of time left before turning 40. I also thought that women in their 40s were old, boring, and often cranky, so I was not looking forward to reaching that milestone. However, my perception of women in their 40s changed as soon as I turned 40 myself.
Aside from a few health-related changes and challenges, I feel great about being 40-something. I do not feel old at all! In fact, this particular decade of my life has transformed me into a healthier, stronger, and more confident woman.
As a person, I feel more confident. Gone are the days when I was afraid of being judged by others for my words, choices, and actions. Today, I no longer fret over what other people think of me. I am comfortable in my own skin. I can talk to complete strangers, ask questions I would have never asked before, and walk out the door with little or no makeup. I don’t forget my sunscreen and lip balm, though!
Confidence is my new makeup, and I wear it generously.
Having realised that my time is precious, I no longer care about what others think of me. I do not burden myself by trying to meet other people’s expectations, and this feeling has been very liberating. I choose my company carefully.
I have reached the midpoint of my life’s journey (hoping to celebrate my 80th birthday one day), which means that I have already seen a lot. Today, I try to spend my time with people who uplift me, make me laugh, and teach me a thing or two about life and living. I no longer spend my time with people whose words and actions bring me down.
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Photo: Collected / miguel bruna / Unsplash
Girls are often conditioned to be nice. Even after they grow up, many women still feel pressured to be the “good girl” others once expected them to be. Ask any woman, and you will likely find out how many times she has done things against her will just to be a “good girl.”
I have finally learned to say no to things that stress me out. Let me give you a small example. I now only eat what is healthy for me, minus the occasional indulgence. No one can make me eat something I do not want to eat. When I was younger, I would sometimes give in and eat something against my wishes, because I was worried that someone else’s feelings would be hurt if I had refused it. Today, I know the art of politely declining food (or anything else) offered by someone.
With hormones changing and health challenges creeping up, the 40s is the decade when every woman should start taking care of herself, most diligently.
So, I try to put myself first. I try to love myself more than I ever have. I eat my meals on time, never forget to take my vitamins, walk every day, and try to get enough sleep each night. I take time to do things that make me happy, such as reading, painting, and gardening. I take time to do skincare, because it relaxes me and makes me feel good about myself.
I am trying to love myself more than I ever have.
I believe I have become more emotionally resilient too. I manage stress, grief, loss, and adversity more skillfully than I ever imagined. It is not that I am not affected by emotions; rather, with age, I have become better at managing my emotions. Mentally, I am in a better place in my 40s because I can forgive, let go of things, and move forward.
So, if you are not in your 40s yet, do not be afraid to turn 40, because it is not as scary as others might have told you. As a matter of fact, it is not scary at all. Yes, you will likely experience body changes and health-related challenges you never thought of, but there are also so many wonderful things associated with stepping into the 40s. It is the decade when you will rediscover yourself, learn to get your priorities straight, and emerge as a stronger and better version of yourself.
